In winter of 2019, I lived in Seattle, Washington at the time. I drove from Tacoma to Seattle one night to watch the performance of Lingua Ignota and The Daughters. The atmosphere was grand. I have never been inside this legendary club called Nemo’s. Everything was beautiful that night. I saw Lingua’s exhilarating performance and I caught four songs of The Daughter’s spazzatic noise-to-the-walls noisegaze performance. I had to leave early for work. So right before I left, I was jumped from behind by a group of people. However, I manage to back hand, back karate chop, back elbow, back fist, and back kick a few of them off me before everyone stop beating on me. Next, I had to palm fist my way through a slam pit. Finally, I walked toward a group of people had their arms linked together refusing my departure. I karate chopped the link and I walked out the club in utter confusion.
What is so unsettling about that night? I don’t know any reason why they did it. I don’t know why this happened. This has led me to believe the rash of violence in our culture is at a overt boiling point. It seem that its first nature for someone to punch a person or shoot a person without remorse or thought. How could our beautiful individualized culture cradle such actions? Violence has always been a part of the punk scene, but this place wasn’t a hardcore show at some dirty hole-in-the-wall bar or dive.
I could go into details about why, who, what or how all this occurs. But, instead of pointing the blame at these individuals, I will list 10 ways one could avoid any violence in their life. These prevention steps I manage to pick up on my own observations and experience. Also, the CDC website has a list of violence prevention tips and information. I believe as much as we denounce violence, some of us, are blind to our advocation of violence in reciprocity. These preventive steps are in direct alignment with physical, sexual, emotional, couple, criminal and workplace violence. I see violence correlates in our its different genres. Hopefully, you read and take notes. This list may give one of you insight to the nature, zeigtist, of our present cultures. It seems violence is surrounding us all.
One more thing to note, is that most or all crimes occur with someone we are “familiar” with. Trust is an issue in about every violence act whether it is victim or proprietor. Like the expresss goes, “Know your enemy.” What’s scary is they have kept their victims close.
My list of 10 preventive tips for violence avoidance
- 1. Travel in groups. For some of us, including myself, being alone is a comfort, habit, and situational at best. But some situations call for a bit more comfort. So, find groups of people you are comfortable to be around who can respect you space and your privacy. For example, at night travel in pairs to the corner store or to drink at the bar. When you feel uncomfortable in a new environment or new city seeking out people you can relate, trust, and be surround by will help your mental game and create a healthier experience.
- 2. Change up your habits. Don’t do the same thing or shop at the same store or drink at the same bar or eat at the same restaurant every day or every week. Change things up. When you create this pattern someone could be watching and making notes at an opportunity to strike and to harm you. This will create an attitude of awareness; much like a survival instinct.
- 3. Be visible. Some of us love our privacy. However, when we avoid public places or being seen in highly populated areas we could fall prey to possible victimized situation. We leave ourselves as bait for a predator to attack. Especially at night, we walk and venture in places that are dark, low-light, and gaunt; plus, we do this alone. Bad Call. Make sure you are visible, seen, and heard in highly populated places. It will make a small difference in preventing a violent situation.
- 4. Be observant. Observance is omnipotent. Start by observing your surrounding. Observing your own habits, your partner’s habits, your friend’s habits, your group’s habits, your follow coworker’s habits, your pet’s habits and your parent’s and sibling’s habits. Observe the store, the train, the bar, the street you are walking down, the bank atm, the club, and the building, etc. You get it. By knowing about people and places around you, you will have a clear picture of whether you are in a safe environment or surrounded by safe individuals. Also, you will know certain things and faces unfamiliar to you.
- 5. Avoid violent confrontations. If you are in a situation that escalates to an argument. Make sure when talking with a friend, a stranger, a partner, a spouse, a worker, a parent, or a lover it doesn’t get violent . You don’t want things to escalate into hot-tempered agrument that becomes physically or sexually harmful. This could end up where one or both parties are incarcerated, in the hospital or 6 feet under. Be patient, listen, and remain calm.
- 6. Be the Bigger Person. I admit, even when you are right, be wrong. Make sure you say what is on your mind and let the other person lash out. As long as you get your point across and they heard you. Great. Let them have the last word. That way you both get what you want (Even though, you might need ear plug to listen to them bitch for another 2-5 minutes any longer call in the calvary).
- 7. Talk to somebody. If you have been in a situation where you were assaulted physically, verbally, or sexually please seek out a friend/someone you can trust, or call a violence prevention hotline for some guidance. Being alone after experiencing an assault could build a toxic PTSD leading toward nihil like tendencies. You have survive in this world, but sometimes being alone to your thought will not be enough. Don’t let the proprietor get away with their devious act. Be brave, strong, and take a step toward healthy mentality. Reach out for help instead of drown in fear.
- 8. Be aware. Just like observance, be aware of the people, places, events, and things surrounding your presence everyday. If you feel any discomfort let your friend, partner, spouse, or group know. Seek some refuge to produce a healthy comfort level. Being silent will not make the problems go away. Awareness of your feelings will keep a clear head and focus for any situation of discomfort.
- 9. Attitude and Behavior check. Even though, one is a victim and the situations they get in are out of their control. You must understand, “It’s not your fault!” But we have to think about our own attitude and behavior. How did we end up in the situation? How could we change our attitude and our behavior to veer toward a more benevolent outcome everytime we run into problems. We want to decrease violence, so we eliminate the habits that may lead toward these type of situations.
- 10. Trust Your Intuition. The last thing I will point out is our own intution. That little voice in your head. What we call “gut feeling.” Listen to it! It might make the difference in dissolving a victimized situation or ending up in the hospital, jail cell, or 6 feet under. Sometimes, when it feels right, its wrong. And sometimes when it feels wrong, its right. Trust your intution, learn from past mistakes.
I hope this list isn’t too lengthy or elementary. From my own experiences, I have learn what I had done to prevent and to escalate certain situations into positive and negative outcomes. I am continuing to learn more about what I can do to not end up in another situation like the one above. I hope this article will help guide some of you to a more safe and healthy outcome in your everyday life.
With the rampant escalation of violence in American and other cultures, it is only a matter of time before it reaches a boiling point. We must prepare for any sort of outcome. The tips above are more like chess moves to position yourself in the safest situation without any backlash coming your way. Peace out from the Bodhi!
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)
National Sexual Assault Hotline: CALL 800.656.HOPE (4673)